From the Shadows
by shooting star 0160
Summary: Rui centric. Mostly his thoughts on Makino and their friendship. Slight TsukushixRui if you squint. Please READ and REVIEW!


**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Hana Yori Dango, if I did Tsukushi would have ended up with Rui.

'...' Rui's thoughts

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"_A mighty pain to love it is,_

_And 't is a pain that pain to miss,_

_But of pains, the greatest pain_

_It is to love, but love in vain."_

_-Abraham Cowley-_

Hanazawa Rui entered his sensibly furnished room and sat on the only major piece of furniture found inside, his bed. While sitting down, the framed pictures on his desk caught his eyes, the largest of which was found at the center of the arrangement captured the bright, roguish smiles of his friends,Mimasaka Akira and Nishikado Soujiro, the arrogant smirk of his best friend, Domyouji Tsukasa, his otherwise bland, enigmatic expression and the vibrant, spirited face of Makino Tsukushi.

Rui gave an involuntary smile as he gazed upon the face of the woman who changed his life, of the woman who taught him so much, of the woman he cares for most in the world. Memories flashed by his eyes as he gazed out his window and it was at that moment that he decided to indulge and let himself be carried off by memories.

' From the moment that I laid my eyes upon the prone figure of Makino Tsukushi I have always classified her as one of the good, decent ones. She was, after all, one of those rare ones that didn't openly gawk, or God help me, swoon upon the sight of my friends and I. It never once occurred to me that she'll one day turn my world, as well as those of my friends', upside down and inside out.'

A small smile graced the handsome, delicate features of Hanazawa Rui as he travelled down memory's lane, reliving the bittersweet memories of his unrequited love.

' Tsukasa made a really big mistake when he chose to unleash his legendary temper uopn Makino's friend. Come to think of it, people rarely stood up to Tsukasa's childish games, not even Soujiro, or Akira, or even me. It didn't really affect us in any way so why bother? Makino, just like Tsubaki nee-san is one of the few who has enough wits to reign Tsukasa in once he gets out of hand.'

Rui couldn't help but smile as he remembered Tsukasa's incredulous face when Makino protected her friend from him, his even more incredulous reaction when she kicked his face, told him of all his misfortunes and declared 'war'. He never once thought that the girl he once believed to be shy and quiet could turn out so differently, it amazed him even more that she could muster enough courage to stand up against the famous F4 and the 'mighty' Domyouji Tsukasa.

' She's really one of a kind! Not even the toughest of all street bullies or the heirs of prominent families could pluck-up enough courage to even lay a finger, let alone insult Tsukasa, but there she was, a rather petite girl from a working class family, insulting _the_ Domyouji Tsukasa _and_ hitting his face! She really surprised everyone, including me, that she had enough guts to kick and pelt Tsukasa to the ground, not just once but twice!'

And at that moment, Hanazawa Rui who has never been (and perhaps never will be) known as someone who laughs his lungs out, did just that. He laughed and laughed until his stomach ached, he couldn't help it, Tsukasa's as well as Soujiro's and Akira's faces were just priceless after Makino's rather huffy and hurried exit.

'Tsukasa was predictably furious while Akira and Soujiro were excessively eager to know the outcome of Makino's declaration. Everyone were eager to know just what she meant by that. What could she possibly be capable of that would make Tsukasa back down was the unspoken question at Eitokou Gakuen at that time. Everyone wanted to know just how long she will last. Ans it was at that moment that she caught my unrelenting attention, and even if I wasn't aware of that time it was probably then that I fell in love with her.'

'Yes, I fell in love with her, a weed amongst the flowers, I chose her over Todou Shizuka,the Incomparable in our Social Circle. I can't understand the protective feelings that I had for her at first, but as time passed I grew to understand the feeling that I have long since labeled as platonic, nonexistent even.'

He remembered the memories they shared, the laughter and the tears she so willingly imparted. He remembered the feel of her wet cheeks against his chest, and the soaking feeling it left afterwards. He remembered how his heart throbbed whenever he saw her crying and down, how also remembered how his heart saored whenever he saw her smiling at him and finally, he remembered the satisfaction that he felt whenever she was cheered up by his antics.

'All the awful things that she was forced to endure through out all the red card scene made me realize just how strong and marvellous she really was. The fact that she was brave enough to face an entire mob of spoiled students was something that I found so commendable. While I forced to watch from the sidelines as they harmed and threw insults at her face, I just couldn't help but offer her my assistance.'

'The first time that I helped her, I took it as a whim. I wanted to give her false hope and then subject her to something unspeakble but as time passed, the feeling of protectiveness in me grew. I eventually defied my best friend just to protect her. Tsukasa and I haven't quarelled for such a long time but I quarelled him just for her.'

'Then Shizuka returned, she was the first person to notice that I seem to have fallen for Makino, I despised her for saying that.I was obviously in a blind state of denial, I was in love with her, so how could she say that I have fallen for another girl? How could she? Were the only things that I was thinking about that time, I was blinded by the childish infatuation I had for her. I thought it was love then, but what I didn't realize at that time was the gravity of what I was loosing. I lost the girl I truly loved.'

He couldn't help but give a sardonic smile at how ironic his life turned out to be, how badly the tables were turned against his favor. He remembered the loneliness that he felt when he had returned from France and how he intended to fill that gaping hole with the one girl who he knew enough to respect and, he winced slightly at the thought, who he liked enough to use as a substitute.

'I never thought that I'd fall for her as hard as I did. I just wanted to use her to help me forget Shizuka, I wanted her to help me numb the pain that was in my heart. But all the planning that I did proved to be usless when I found out that Tsukasa, my best friend, had fallen fast and hard for her. It's not as if I didn't know that he was in love with her, I have always known, it's just that I was hoping that she still liked me, but then, I found out that she was already with Tsukasa. It was then that I decide to turn to other girls to get Shizuka out of my head.'

He remembered the time when he and his friends decided to go to the island owned by the Domyoujis for a vacation. He remembered all the reasons why he would never forget that day until the last breath he takes. That night was full of unexpected circumstances, of things he never imagined happening between him and his friends.

'That night, at the beach, I never expected to see her and I never thought that she could make me release all the pain that I had stubbornly been keeping inside, it all just poured out, the pain, the sadness and the regret I felt. And suddenly, everything was the reverse of how things used to be, I was now the one clinging to her for support, holding on for dear life.'

'That night, I also betrayed my friendship with Tsukasa and the magnitude of the trouble that I had caused her was just too much for me to let her handle things on her own, though I knew that she'd somehow manage to get out of that tight spot and emerge victorious, not that I would have scampered, anyway.'

He remembered how furious Tsukasa was when he saw them on the sea shore, hugging and kissing, he wanted to tell his best friend that he was sorry, to explain all that had happened and to make amends, not that he would have listened anyway, but a teeny tiny part of him was happy that Makino had chosen him.

'I knew that Tsukasa would react the way that he did. I also knew that could never hurt Makino so he would choose to hurt me instead, and I was happy and secured with that knowledege. I have resloved myself to just accept whatever form of punishment Tsukasa handed out, but what I and he too, didn't expect was that Makino proved to be more nosy than we originaly thought her to be, she stood up for me. I should have known better when I hoped that she would not get involved with the fight.'

'I know that she felt responsible. She felt that it was her fault that Tsukasa kicked me out of the F4, that I was being asked to leave school because of what happened. In my heart of hearts I knew that I deserved Tsukasa's ire, that's why I chose to simply accept his decision. I just counted myself lucky that he still had some regard for our friendship, however badly I have damaged it, and that he did not resort to violence with me.'

'But then she chose to appear at that moment, just like the time when she reprimanded me at the airport for letting Shizuka leave just like that. She berated me for accepting Tsukasa's decision without protest and agreeing to leave the school. Then she annonced her intention to drop out of school in my place. I couldn't let her do that, not in a million years.'

'It was then that Tsubaki nee-san chose to arrive, to mediate between the ensuing fight. It was she who thought of settling the dispute with a basket ball game. Tsukasa, Akira and Soujiro against Kazuya, Makino and I, whoever lost would have to bend to the will of whoever will win.'

He remembered how they almost lost, how he made Tsukasa so jealous that he quit the game and how he promised Makino that he would stop time if she failed to shoot that last, crucial ball. With Tsukasa quitting, the match was forfeited and no one had to leave the school at the end. He also remembered Tsubaki's commentary on how time flies, '_It seems only yesterday when you were all cute and adorable, but now look at you! All grown up, fighting over a girl!_' she had said.

Indeed, time flew by Hanazawa Rui. It had been years since those events happened, yet he remembered them with vivid clarity as if they all took place only a couple of weeks ago. Makino and Tsukasa were finally together, and with Tsukasa's mother won over they were sure to get married soon. And he remembered the promise that he made, not to anyone else but himself, that he would let those two be as long as they loved each other, that he would help them as much as he can, they were, after all, his two most favorite people in the world.

He and Makino were still good friends and she still came to him for advice and comfort. Until she needs him once more, though, he will wait, patiently protecting and guiding her, just lurking somewhere in the shadows.

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**author's note:** IF YOU CAME AS FAR AS THIS PART, I GIVE YOU MY SINCERE THANKS FOR READING MY STORY. AND PLEASE **DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW. **THANK YOU!


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